From the perspective of a 20-something, self-identified seeker I hope that The Gray Area will be at times, confessional, observation forum, story board, joke shop, and, if I get good, advice column.
Friday, September 9, 2011
My name is...
I have a confession. Actually it's not a confession. Just
an observation about life as I experience it. I'm addicted to my
phone. Not, I call people all the time. Not even, I always take every
call. Actually, I take less than half of the phone calls which come
my way (Sorry to anyone who gets my voicemail). It's really just the
obsessive need to have access. There's an old military expression,
"Hurry up and wait." And I think that's what I experience.
I spend a lot of time being careful not to miss an urgent call that
I'm not expecting. I get an almost debilitating anxiety when I'm not
in physical contact with my phone. I may not be leaning on my urinal
like "Mr.
Totally Connected," but, and I am ashamed to admit this,
I've checked my phone in church, and (gulp) on dates ("He who is
without sin..."). It's strange. When I think logically about the
worst thing that could happen if I didn't have my phone, the worst
thing I could think of would be an easy fix, and not likely to
happen. But somehow, nothing consoles me.
Earlier this summer, however, my phone vanished from. I
went through the stages of grief,
right out of the Psych 101 textbook. Not my finest moment. Denial- "I must have left it at the
church...OK...Maybe it's still in the car...well...Maybe the other
car...possibly...My room?...
Anger- "I can't believe I...How could I be so
stupid...Why did it have to rain TODAY!!!...Somebody probably ran it
over in the parking lot...
Bargining- Hoping that
my cousin had taken it or knew who had I offered my cousin candy and
money if she “found” my phone.
Depression- I, seriously,
don't even want to talk about that part. Not my finest hour.
Acceptance- If it's lost,
it's lost... I'll just buy a new one if that's what has to happen. A
lot of people don't even have cell phones...worse things have
happened to better people...
As I moved into acceptance. Wonder of
wonders...
After making a trip to summer camp with the youth of our church,
where it was dropped by whichever child took it. My beloved phone was
found by a different member of our youth group who, "Thought it
looked familiar," brought it home and showed it to his mom, who
recognized the "My Sister" entry in Contacts. Deduced that
she'd know whose it was. And it is now back in my grateful hands. My
very, very grateful hands.
I should have a punchy takeaway from
all this. And I think I kind of do. But, I'm going to let someone
else deliver it:
You know, and so does everyone around me, that this is very much me. Ugh, HAVE to see that movie. lol
ReplyDeleteI answered my phone on a few dates before...I think once I called someone during the middle of a date. It was pretty bad.
ReplyDelete