Wednesday, June 1, 2011

No...Thank You

If you were to walk past the main desk at my gym, you would likely notice the laser scanning device conspicuously affixed to it, at the most narrow point on the walkway leading to the lockers and workout rooms. You would thus, likely, intuit the intention of the device to monitor member traffic, and identify each passer-by as eligible for entry. If you're not much for intuition you could just read the signs to that effect. And every morning, when I swipe my card, someone behind the desk intones a, usually, cheerful, "Thank you."

Now, I'm a grateful guy. But for whatever reason, it weirds me out when they thank me for that. It just feels like, "Thank you for fulfilling the minimum function for lawful entry." Or, more succinctly, "Thanks for not being a dick." Do they just expect everyone to just charge the lockers one day and not scan their cards one day? I don't get it. I've done nothing that warrants gratitude. Heck, I haven't even done anything that warrants noting. Thank me for holding the door for you. Thank me for picking up that thing you left and running it out to you. Thank me for being awesome. Don't thank me for not sucking. At that point, I feel like there's no bar to lower.

Thanks for reading.