Friday, April 3, 2009


We’re students. We’re dancers. We’re actors. We’re writers. We’re slackers. We’re friends. We’re enemies. We’re lovers. We’re working parents. We’re kids. We’re alcoholics. We’re potheads. We’re Christians. We’re Muslims. We’re Atheists. We’re agnostics. We’re hard workers. We’re rarely surprised. We know you. We do anything you demand of us and more with a smile plastered on our face. We get shit on everyday time after time. We smoke like chimneys to calm the stress. We drink to forget. We take the blame for your mistakes and have five seconds to shake it off and engage the next client. We aren’t satisfied unless you are. We balance and pace. We stage and clean. We reap the rewards on the good days. We just hope to make it through the really bad days. We cry. We laugh. We can fix it. We got a good customer. We really blew it. We made a friend. We need to party. We need to work. We need the money. We are bored. We are totally swamped. We’re weeded. We’re out. We ARE right, but no one cares. We aim to please. We will see what we can do. We didn’t hear that. We don’t understand. We didn’t need that. We can’t believe it. We appreciate that, really. We take your order, and remember your tiny idiosyncrasies. We abide the no tips and the bad tips on the off chance of a great table. We don’t forget how rude you were. We’re easy to get along with…if you are. We love the drinkers and hate water. We don’t do this for free. We definitely don’t do this for fun. We love the irony of Diet Coke. We like cute kids. We could do without the bad ones. We laugh at ketchup-steak people, extra well done people, extra extra dressing people, and forget their to-go food people. We hate it when you can’t make up your mind but won’t let us leave. We have stuff to do…always. We want twenty percent. We accept fifteen plus. We bristle at ten, remembering anything less with a righteous fury. We told you the center would be red, you still wanted medium. We’ll take that back for you. We can’t read minds, say virgin daiquiri. We will get that. We’re cut, finally. We’re done cleaning. We’re checked out. We’re out. We’re spent.

We are servers who just want to make a lot of coin with a little stress and not a lot of mistakes but mostly… We just don’t give a shit.

Tune in Next Week

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