Tuesday, December 31, 2013

In the Weeds (pt 1)

Working in a restaurant is a special experience. I’ve worked in five restaurants for a total of eight years spanning just over a decade. Despite the fact that an unfortunate number of guests become entitled hyper-egotists, working in a restaurant provided me some of my best laughs; most of them retrospectively, but laughs nonetheless.

I’m pretty sure that the general manager position for the first restaurant I served in was given to the first person who wanted it and didn’t care about silly things like doing the job well. My roommate and co-worker Dan walks up to the GM one morning as the lunch shift was starting and presents her with a fairly obvious problem.

“Janice, we have 11 kids’ cups to last until we close tonight.”

Janice continues looking blankly in the direction of the beverage machine and takes an impressively long pull from her coffee. Giving up on the staring contest, she looks at Dan, “You think we’re going to sell 11 kids’ drinks today?”

“Well, it’s five minutes into the lunch shift and four of the kitchen guys walked behind you and grabbed some; Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’re going to run out before 12:30.”


Janice takes another comically long pull, draining the rest of her mug and replies, “I don’t think we’ll actually sell 11.” Then she walks away to address her now empty coffee cup.